Pretty Gay, Just Not Gay Enough

Pretty Gay, Just Not Gay Enough lyrics

Official lyrics for “Pretty Gay, Just Not Gay Enough” by Festival Guy.

TITLE: Pretty Gay (Just Not Gay Enough)

[STYLE] Comedy rock, power pop, crunchy guitars, Midwest bar-band energy, huge singalong chorus, witty storytelling, male lead vocal, audience chant moments, somewhere between Weezer, Bowling for Soup, and classic Festival Guy humor.

[INTRO] (Spoken over guitar feedback)

My wife says, “Paul, you know more about throw pillows than most women.”

That’s fair.

But I also own three chainsaws.

So…

What exactly are we dealing with here?

[VERSE 1]

I know the difference between mauve and blush Got expensive shampoo and a coffee crush Can identify drapes from across the room But I rebuilt a carburetor last June

I cried at the ending of a cooking show Then spent all weekend splitting firewood The boys at the hardware store all know my name The ladies at Target do exactly the same

[PRE-CHORUS]

Half my friends think I’m fabulous Half think I wrestle bears for fun Nobody knows what category To stick me under when the day is done

[CHORUS]

I’m pretty gay, just not gay enough Too much glitter, not enough strut Too much flannel, not enough fluff I’m a walking contradiction and I’m stuck

Pretty gay, just not gay enough A little bit fancy, a little bit rough If life’s a spectrum then I’m somewhere in the mud Pretty gay… Just not gay enough

[VERSE 2]

I complimented Dave on his workout gains He smiled and I forgot my name Then a waitress winked and I nearly fell Trying to figure myself out is hell

I watch home makeover marathons Then spend six hours mowing lawns I know what thread count means in bed And how to replace a water heater head

[PRE-CHORUS]

Every online quiz I take Comes back with a giant shrug Like the internet itself gave up And went to find another bug

[CHORUS]

I’m pretty gay, just not gay enough Too much glitter, not enough strut Too much flannel, not enough fluff I’m a walking contradiction and I’m stuck

Pretty gay, just not gay enough A little bit fancy, a little bit rough If life’s a spectrum then I’m somewhere in the mud Pretty gay… Just not gay enough

[GUITAR SOLO]

(Big arena rock solo)

[BRIDGE]

Maybe labels ain’t my thing Maybe life’s a weird parade Maybe everybody’s just pretending That they’ve got it all explained

Maybe we’re all somewhere In the middle of the map Trying to act like experts While wearing emotional camouflage

[BREAKDOWN]

(Drums and bass only)

I own a smoker… And scented candles

A pickup truck… And skin-care samples

Steel-toe boots… And matching towels

Nobody panic We’ll figure it out

[CROWD CHANT]

Pretty gay! (Not gay enough!)

Pretty gay! (Not gay enough!)

Pretty gay! (Not gay enough!)

[FINAL CHORUS]

I’m pretty gay, just not gay enough Too much glitter, not enough strut Too much flannel, not enough fluff I’m a walking contradiction and I’m stuck

Pretty gay, just not gay enough A little bit fancy, a little bit rough If life’s a spectrum then I’m somewhere in the mud Pretty gay… Just not gay enough

[OUTRO]

(Spoken)

Look, man…

I just came here for the barbecue.

(Crowd laughter)

Yeah… That’s probably enough.