Oy, What A Tuccas

Oy, What A Tuccas lyrics

Official lyrics for “Oy, What A Tuccas” by Festival Guy.

OY, WHAT A TUCCAS (RAUNCHY KLEZMER AFTERPARTY MIX)

[INSTRUMENTAL INTRO — clarinet squeals, violin sparks, BIG “oy!” pickup] (Clarinet does a rude little bend like it’s laughing at you)

[VERSE 1] I roll in late like a local disaster, Buttons poppin’ like I ate the kugel faster. Rabbi says “be dignified”—I’m like “I’ll try,” But the band hits the groove and my dignity dies.

Aunt Shoshana’s got a drink and a mission, She’s doing hip-circles with religious conviction. Uncle Mo is yelling “NU!” at the wall, And somebody’s cousin just twerked in a shawl.

[PRE-CHORUS — stop-time hits, crowd yells] Nu, listen up—don’t act brand new, We all got cheeks and they all got views. If your backside talks, let it say “shalom,” This dancefloor’s a synagogue of bring it on.

[CHORUS] OY, what a tuccas! (HEY!) OY, what a tuccas! (HEY!) Big like a challah, bold like a blast, Make the whole room whistle when you walk past. OY, what a tuccas! (HEY!) OY, what a tuccas! (HEY!) Clap clap—stomp stomp—shake it with the fuss, Tonight we’re all judges of the famous tuccas!

[VERSE 2] The hora turns reckless, the circle gets feral, Somebody’s shoes flew off like a moral. Grandma’s doing side-eye, sipping her tea, Like “I raised you better,” but she’s dancing with me.

Sweaty little polka, borderline sin, I got a napkin bib and I’m still goin’ in. If manners were money, I’d be in debt, But I’m rich in cheek and I ain’t done yet.

[PRE-CHORUS — faster, meaner, cheekier] Hands up high, then drop ‘em low, Wiggle like you’re hiding snacks in your cargo. Left cheek, right cheek—make ‘em both behave, Or let ‘em run wild, we’re brave, brave, brave.

[CHORUS] OY, what a tuccas! (HEY!) OY, what a tuccas! (HEY!) Big like a challah, bold like a blast, Make the whole room whistle when you walk past. OY, what a tuccas! (HEY!) OY, what a tuccas! (HEY!) Clap clap—stomp stomp—shake it with the fuss, Tonight we’re all judges of the famous tuccas!

[BRIDGE — spoken over breakdown, comedic hype-man energy] Alright—circle up. Tight circle. We’re doing the “Nice & Naughty” two-step. When I say “OY,” you say “SHAKE!” OY! (SHAKE!) OY! (SHAKE!) Now I say “TUCCAS,” you say “MAKE ROOM!” TUCCAS! (MAKE ROOM!) TUCCAS! (MAKE ROOM!) Okay—clarinet, get disrespectful!

[INSTRUMENTAL SOLO — clarinet goes OFF, violin answers, accordion chugs] (Stop-time claps: 1-2-3—HIT!)

[FINAL CHORUS — bigger, louder, borderline unhinged] OY, what a tuccas! (HEY!) OY, what a tuccas! (HEY!) Shake it for the aunties, shake it for the band, Shake it for the people who can’t clap on hand. OY, what a tuccas! (HEY!) OY, what a tuccas! (HEY!) Clap clap—stomp stomp—cause a little ruckus, If you got a tuccas… show respect to the tuccas!

[OUTRO — chant + final punch] Oy oy oy—what a tuccas! (HEY!) Oy oy oy—what a tuccas! (HEY!) (Last hit: “OY!” — band stops — crowd screams)