Dirty Cucumbers

Dirty Cucumbers lyrics

Official lyrics for “Dirty Cucumbers” by Festival Guy.

Verse 1 Lordie Lordie Lord!!! SAVE ME JESUS! SAVE ME FROM THE HELLFIRE!!! (Pause) Farmer Joe’s got boots full o’ river clay, Row after row where the vines still sway. Storm rolled through, left a muddy scene, Now his cukes ain’t fit for the canning queen.

Chorus Won’t you help me wash my cucumbers, ladies of the town, Bring a bucket, little laughter, let the well pump down. Scrub ’em till they sparkle, shine ’em leaf to stem, I got dirty cucumbers—need a gentle hand on them. (Just good country water and a song to keep the time—amen.)

Verse 2 Miss June brings soap, Miss Betty brings jars, Dolores hums low under porch-light stars. Sleeves rolled high, hearts easy and warm, Turnin’ muddy green into emerald corn.

Chorus Won’t you help me wash my cucumbers, ladies of the town, Bring a bucket, little laughter, let the well pump down. Scrub ’em till they sparkle, shine ’em leaf to stem, I got dirty cucumbers—need a gentle hand on them. (Just good country water and a song to keep the time—amen.)

Bridge Ain’t nothin’ wicked ’bout a harvest day, Just neighbors workin’ in the old-time way. Soap suds, stories, and a rhythm on the boards, While mason jars wait like a line of chords.

Verse 3 Saturday fair and the band strikes up, Blue-ribbon pickles in a tin-cup truck. Joe tips his hat as the church bells ring, Says, “Thank you, ladies—y’all made ’em sing.”

Final Chorus Thanks for washin’ all my cucumbers, ladies of the town, With a bucket, little laughter, and the well pumped down. Shinin’ like the morning, bless your kindly stems, Those once-dirty cucumbers—now the pride of them. (Tag) Just good country water and a song to keep the time—amen.